Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
