3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
