so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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