...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
