R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
