"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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