My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
