Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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