So drunk its hurt
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
