Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
