Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
