is your mom at the bar?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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