So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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