He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
