we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If I die, sorry about rent.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
