I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
