margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
