I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
