we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
