She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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