google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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