I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
