so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
