I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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