Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
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