you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
