He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
