um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
