just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
