There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
