Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
did you just send me my own nude
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
