He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
organizing the empties. That sober.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
