batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
