Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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