I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
