hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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