Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Fuck appropriateness.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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