He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
