Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
someone owes me an orgasm
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
