All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize