just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
