I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
