Who wears a wallet chain?!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
