Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
