I'm jealous of your bromance
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
