No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
