Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
