a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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