I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
