i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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