jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
