Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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