Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
