omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
