I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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