Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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